My friend Monica Rettig has written an interesting article examining how users of wedding websites such as Indiebride share information and build community. One of the questions raised in this research is how information sharing and seeking behaviour is closely related to emotional support. Indeed, I got the sense that the two activities are intertwined to some degree; information is sought for practical purposes sure but there is also a desire to make a connection. It is interesting to see the ways in which the community members define themselves and fragment; for example those planning destination weddings are considered to be a distinct society from regular Indiebrides. Monica points out that part of the community further subdivides by time; e.g. those with a wedding date in June tend to congregate and those with similar time horizons will come together. This begs the question; do brides continue to participate in this information community after the big day? Would they then be regarded as sages due to the experience?
One question kept nagging me as I read this article though; where are the men and grooms? Have they no views on weddings? Or perhaps there are websites for men interested in weddings but they are separate? I can accept that it is something of a cultural convention in North America that weddings are still largely regarded as a woman’s area of interest but I wonder if that has always been true or if it is true in other contexts. As Rebecca Mead has pointed out in her excellent 2007 book, One Perfect Day: The Selling of the American Wedding, much of contemporary wedding practice is either manufactured by those seeking to growing the multi billion dollar wedding industry and the tendenacy of some couples to mix and match from tradition to produce an event that pleases them. Given that, why not create a bigger space for groom participation in the wedding scene?
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Hi Bruce!
Thanks for your comment & thoughts. The question you raise is a good one. From what I remember from my time spent on Kvetch, there were a few men posting on the boards — but very few, just one or two that I can recall. Perhaps it’s time for IndieGrooms??
Wedding planning is a funny thing. I know of couples where the gent was much more involved in the planning, and I’m sure he could’ve used a community to support him! There is a burgeoning space for guys in the process — most wedding books you buy will have “for the men” section. But I’m sure the issue is whether or not men will be the potential consumers out there looking to drop some cash to aid with wedding stress.
On another note, “One Perfect Day” is a GREAT read — did you read the whole thing? In my opinion, it’s a *must read* for anyone getting married these days.
Take care,
m.
Hi Monica,
IndieGrooms – I like it! Maybe that’ll be a venture for me to look into down the road.
I’m in the process of reading “One Perfect Day” by Rebecca Mead but haven’t finished it yet. I find it absolutely riveting. I’m on the chapter about the development of wedding consultants/planners. From what I read, the wedding planning industry only started to develop in the 1980s – it is far from an ancient practice.
[...] Why does this information matter to me? (Possible answers include: I need it to work better, I want to be entertained, I want to forge a social bond through information a la marriage discussion forums) [...]